Developing and Reaching Your Goals pt. 2

This post is part 2 of our series on developing and reaching your goals. In the prior post, we discussed how to structure your goal so that it is well-defined and measurable. In this post we will discuss the next part of the process, identifying the related steps, resources, and sequence of your goal.

There are likely a number of smaller steps, projects, or events that that will need to be completed before you reach your goal. Before you start linking those steps together, just list out, the information you'll need to gather, people you'll need to contact, or things to accomplish for your particular goal. For example, if you are planning a seminar on buying local, you may write down book a meeting room at the Hilton, contact Steve about using his projector, create an invite list, call Sarah and Paul to help setup, etc. The steps don't need to be in any particular order at this time. This initial storming process helps you start thinking about the process of meeting your goal, gives you the foundation for your time frame, and most importantly it helps you recognize which resource you have and those you need to obtain, which is the next step in the process.

Thinking about and listing your resources is an important step toward reaching your goals. You likely have more people, knowledge, or tools available to help you than you realize. Returning to our buying local seminar, maybe a friend of yours has already put on a similar event. It may help for you to share the steps you've identified with him or her to find out if you are missing any crucial items. This process will also reveal to you additional steps you need to take to obtain or use a resource. For example, you might recognize that you need specialized knowledge or information to complete one of  your steps. You then need to identify how you'll get that information resource as one of your steps.

Putting your steps and resources together is the next part of the goal development process. You'll need to sequence your steps and pair them with resources to create your plan of action. You can use a method for putting the steps in sequence that makes sense to you. However, there will likely be some items that are more easily completed than others or some that cannot be completed with our first finishing some other task. The point of sequencing is to create the basis for a timeline that you'll use to measure your progress, it adds structure to your list of steps and resources. Once you have the sequencing in place, assign a time frame for completing each step. You can monitor your progress by the number of steps  you complete and  how close to your timeline you keep yourself. It may be helpful to have a partner that can keep you accountable and on track to complete your sequence of steps.

As part of your identification of steps, resources, and sequence to reach your goals you may recognize the need for help, specialized knowledge, or a facilitator for this process. At Focus C3 we offer counseling to help you solve problems, coaching to help you progress, and consulting to help you create potential. We have expertise, resources, and skills to help you reach your goals and move forward. Contact us at info@focusc3.com or visit our website.

The third part of our series on developing and reaching your goals will help you see if your goal lines up with your values and priorities in life. Please feel free to comment on the posts so far.

Developing and Reaching Your Goals pt. 1

Have you had a project you'd like to start, personal desire gnawing at you, or just an annoying habit you'd like to kick? You may have been told to or gone as far as creating a goal to help you figure out ways to accomplish these things. This goal setting process may or may not have helped, and it probably didn't if you only went as far as writing down or remembering the goal. In this post we begin to describe our model for goal setting to help you reach your goal.

Sometimes goals suffer from being open-ended and ill defined. For example, "I want to lose weight" is open ended because it doesn't specify how much weight or when this weight loss goal will be reached and more importantly why. You may think, "I want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months" fixes these problems, but again you'd be leaving this goal too open-ended. It may seem that the why for your weight loss is self-evident. However, your personal reasons are likely deeper than the typical reasons for any goal. To define your reason for reaching a goal it helps to attach your goal to a definable event or achievement that lets you know if you've met the goal. This brings us to the So That (ST) statement portion of setting a goal.

The ST statement helps you connect your goal to underlying reason for starting a new project or kicking that habit. It also adds a measurable component to the goal. Returning to our weight loss example, "I want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months, so that, I can have more energy when playing with my children" connects your goal to a very personal reason, time with your children, and a measurable component, energy level. Your ST statement may relate back to a specific want or struggle. The stated goal, "I will stop biting my fingernails in 2 months, so that, I can get a manicure without feeling embarrassed" defines the why of ending that habit and an the emotional struggle with embarrassment over the habit itself. As an exercise try to redefine your goal in the terms described above and see if it you discover some of the deeper personal desires you have for reaching it.

In the second part of Developing and Reaching Your Goals we will discuss how to define and execute the steps you are beginning to see now that you've defined your goal. To get started on defining your steps, start thinking about what you value in life. In addition, start thinking about the resources you'll need to reach your goal. One of those resources may be professional help, and at Focus C3 we have a number of resources to tap into to help you move forward. To find our which service best meets your needs use our Best First Step Assessment.

The Functional Side of Dysfunction pt. 2

Previously, we suggested that our point of view on problems ought to be needs based and solution focused. Rather than seeing problem behaviors as dysfunctional, we should determine which need the problem behaviors are meeting and how we can more positively meet that need.

But you may not agree with this point of view. The following are a few scenarios connecting actions to needs. Comment on how you would view the various connections. Are we prone to see negative connections? Is there a way they could be seen as positive?

In your own life you might be able to connect a single behavior to a number of reasons or needs. You eat for nutrition, but you may also eat to celebrate or out of boredom. How do you view eating when bored?

Lets look at a business example. At work, you have coworkers that argue on procedures and division of responsibilities. Perhaps one coworker is in need of recognition. Do these arguments function to fulfill that need?

Lastly, we'll look at a somewhat spiritual example. You attend a church and notice a member that frequently sits in the back and dozes off. You get the sense this person is burned out. What is this sleepy member actually getting from coming to church?

Feel free to comment on one or all of these examples. And if you haven't read our posts on personality and the functional side of dysfunction please read them a post additional comments there.

If you have unmet physical, emotional, or spiritual needs and want to move forward in those areas Focus C3 can help you find positive solutions to meet them. Find out more on our website.

The Functional Side of Dysfunction

By any means necessary, sometimes that's the approach people take to meet a need. Maybe you've researched a widely accepted and tactful way of getting what you want. Perhaps someone suggested you take a "common sense" approach to solving a personal problem. Maybe you've developed certain behaviors to fulfill unmet needs. Some of these approaches and behaviors are seen as dysfunctional, but we need to rethink such labels.

If a person's behavior achieves a desired result, isn't the behavior functioning for him or her? If it is possible for a number of behaviors to achieve the same goal then all of them are functional. Rather than thinking in terms of functionality we need to view the various habits and actions we rely on to meet needs as either positive or negative. For example, scheduling and planning out sensible meals and binge eating both function to quell hunger and provide nutrition. One is a positive way of meeting needs, the other is not. By taking our focus off ending dysfunction we keep our focus on the need itself and the various methods of obtaining it. We also avoid labeling people as dysfunctional.

Try adopting this needs-focused mindset at work or in your personal life. Then look for new positive solutions to meet the need. The unresolved conflicts or undesirable behaviors are functioning to meet some need or achieve an objective. Just trying to end the arguing, annoying behavior, or negative attitude leaves whatever need those approaches were fulfilling unmet. Collaborating with others on a positive means of solving the issue or fulfilling the need also creates new tools for yourself an your collaborators that may prove useful in the future. Having a number of positive approaches promotes problem solving rather than negative reactionary behavior to fulfill a need.

The functional side of dysfunction is not always readily apparent. It may help to discuss your behaviors, habits, and thinking with a professional. At Focus C3 our counselors and coaches help clients develop positive behaviors and thinking to help them productively achieve goals and meet needs. Find out more about our services and unique approaches on our website.

Where to begin your care.

From the day we are born we need help. Early on it isn't too hard to ask for it. Babies have an innate mechanism to cry to have needs met. As we mature and our needs become more complicated, it becomes seemingly harder to ask for assistance.

So where do you start? There are a few questions to ask yourself to find out where to begin. Is your need mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, or relational? Are you struggling with day-to-day responsibilities? Are you lacking in a certain skill or knowledge? Do you have personal or business goals that haven't been reached? Do you need help to get a new business idea off the ground?

Answering those questions helps determine what type of assistance you may need. At Focus C3 we offer counseling, coaching, and consulting to move you forward. The idea though is that each service is designed to lead to the next. We want to see your business, organization, and personal life thrive.

If you start with counseling to work on your mental health needs then you may want to start tackling a major project. Our coaches can help you discover and use your values, ideas, and resources to get the project done. Our consultants can then work with your organization or company to develop solutions that address needs or advance ideas. No matter where you start all services are available should the need arise.

To get more on where to start on our continuum of care complete the Best First Step Assessment on our website by clicking here.

Rethinking Personal Traits

You may have been told an aspect of who you are is a liability or undesirable. These comments hurt because they attack a part of who we are. We know this seemingly negative manifestation of a trait has shown up in ways beneficial to ourselves and others. Subjectively personality traits are helpful or hurtful, but traits in pure form are actually neutral. Keep that thought in mind when you evaluate yourself and others.

A seemingly negative personality trait is actually an asset if used for a positive function. It isn't the trait that's positive or negative; rather, it is how we harness these elements of ourselves that can be good or bad. Perhaps you are quick tempered, and react to things quickly and fervently. Likely, this trait makes you a rapid decision maker in moments of crisis or confusion. Conversely, you may know someone who is laid back and unhurried. He or she might not make quick decisions when called on to do so. However, in times of crisis this person keeps people calm and level headed.

As an exercise, ascribe to a few elements of your personality a positive or negative value. Review your negative traits and jot down a few ways to use them productively. Try the same exercise with a friend or loved one. You may develop a new appreciation for who that person is.

The staff at Focus C3 wants to see you advance in life. We can help you assess who you are and develop ways to use your unique style and personality to move forward. Find out more on our website.

Déjà vu never happens

Have you ever said to a friend, relative, or coworker that he or she, "always does this". Perhaps you've muttered to yourself, "this happens every single time". We may get a sense of Déjà vu but in reality the exact circumstances surrounding an event never repeat the same way every time.
Our lives may settle into a pattern of "stability" where things are seemingly predictable. However, every day changes occur in the various systems that make up the world in which we live. The good thing about this constant state of change is that even undesirable situations aren't permanent.
So the next time you dread a repeated misfortune or sense that inevitable failure, try to identify what is different this time around. That sensation you get that a negative situation is repeating itself is a cue to try a new strategy not a time for despair. Resources may be different this time around. You might now be acquainted with an expert who can help you solve your particular problem. Perhaps you now have the opportunity to apply a new skill that can address the issue. Likely, there are strategies and resources you haven't considered.
At Focus C3 we use the Focus model to identify resources and strategies with our clients that help them advance in life, business, and relationships. Find out more about taking the first step toward building your arsenal of strategies on our website.