Developing and Reaching Your Goals pt. 1

Have you had a project you'd like to start, personal desire gnawing at you, or just an annoying habit you'd like to kick? You may have been told to or gone as far as creating a goal to help you figure out ways to accomplish these things. This goal setting process may or may not have helped, and it probably didn't if you only went as far as writing down or remembering the goal. In this post we begin to describe our model for goal setting to help you reach your goal.

Sometimes goals suffer from being open-ended and ill defined. For example, "I want to lose weight" is open ended because it doesn't specify how much weight or when this weight loss goal will be reached and more importantly why. You may think, "I want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months" fixes these problems, but again you'd be leaving this goal too open-ended. It may seem that the why for your weight loss is self-evident. However, your personal reasons are likely deeper than the typical reasons for any goal. To define your reason for reaching a goal it helps to attach your goal to a definable event or achievement that lets you know if you've met the goal. This brings us to the So That (ST) statement portion of setting a goal.

The ST statement helps you connect your goal to underlying reason for starting a new project or kicking that habit. It also adds a measurable component to the goal. Returning to our weight loss example, "I want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months, so that, I can have more energy when playing with my children" connects your goal to a very personal reason, time with your children, and a measurable component, energy level. Your ST statement may relate back to a specific want or struggle. The stated goal, "I will stop biting my fingernails in 2 months, so that, I can get a manicure without feeling embarrassed" defines the why of ending that habit and an the emotional struggle with embarrassment over the habit itself. As an exercise try to redefine your goal in the terms described above and see if it you discover some of the deeper personal desires you have for reaching it.

In the second part of Developing and Reaching Your Goals we will discuss how to define and execute the steps you are beginning to see now that you've defined your goal. To get started on defining your steps, start thinking about what you value in life. In addition, start thinking about the resources you'll need to reach your goal. One of those resources may be professional help, and at Focus C3 we have a number of resources to tap into to help you move forward. To find our which service best meets your needs use our Best First Step Assessment.

The Functional Side of Dysfunction pt. 2

Previously, we suggested that our point of view on problems ought to be needs based and solution focused. Rather than seeing problem behaviors as dysfunctional, we should determine which need the problem behaviors are meeting and how we can more positively meet that need.

But you may not agree with this point of view. The following are a few scenarios connecting actions to needs. Comment on how you would view the various connections. Are we prone to see negative connections? Is there a way they could be seen as positive?

In your own life you might be able to connect a single behavior to a number of reasons or needs. You eat for nutrition, but you may also eat to celebrate or out of boredom. How do you view eating when bored?

Lets look at a business example. At work, you have coworkers that argue on procedures and division of responsibilities. Perhaps one coworker is in need of recognition. Do these arguments function to fulfill that need?

Lastly, we'll look at a somewhat spiritual example. You attend a church and notice a member that frequently sits in the back and dozes off. You get the sense this person is burned out. What is this sleepy member actually getting from coming to church?

Feel free to comment on one or all of these examples. And if you haven't read our posts on personality and the functional side of dysfunction please read them a post additional comments there.

If you have unmet physical, emotional, or spiritual needs and want to move forward in those areas Focus C3 can help you find positive solutions to meet them. Find out more on our website.